What do we do?!

  So often as parents we wonder what to do? I mean its not like their is a book of raising children, and even if their was it sure would not be tailored to every child.
 

    We noticed with Hunner as the weeks of school went on that his overall behavior started to get worse. He was having such a hard time focusing in class and his attention span seemed to being shrinking shorter and shorter with each passing moment. He went from having all good days to a fast all bad. So again the question came up. WHAT DO WE DO?

    I sat up an appointment to meet with his teacher and hoping to get a better grasp on what is going on. And too my surprise it was worse than it even seemed on paper. He was not necessarily disrupting the class but more so himself.  Things that ranged from taking of his shoes to obsessively pulling at his eyes, cheeks and mouth.  Again I ask....What do we do?
 
    Mrs.Jones, Hunner's teacher, made the suggestion that we consider the process of evaluation for an add/adhd medication, my heart sank...."I don't want my child medicated" but i knew in my heart that in order for his true potential to shine, he would need some help.  Now to make an appointment with his pcp, file all the necessary paperwork and start yet one more journey, not one I was happy to travel...

   Exactly one week to the date I had an appointment with Hunner's pcp, and based on the paperwork that both Mrs. Jones and I had completed we came to an agreement that medication was probably the only solution.  We were given all the pro's and con's of medications that were available, and based on Hunner and all of his diagnosis we opted for Focalin XR 5mg. We were advised by his doctor to wait for the weekend so that we could observe Hunner for any possible side effects, and the wait proved my nerves too much.

   Saturday...Today is the day...The day I have dreaded for almost a week. I wake Hunner up and make him a good little breakfast so that he has plenty on his tummy to start his meds. At 10:30am on the dot I gave him his medication, and my anxiety hit the roof. Would he be ok? Will I know if something is wrong? But reminding myself that I cannot drive my child crazy with the questions, I sit back and watch. By 1pm I could see a huge difference...HUGE...My son was calm, happy, and able to sit and watch t.v. by far not anything I nor my family was used too, but it was a pleasant change to say the least.

   Monday comes and Hunner wakes up, eats breakfast, and takes his little blue pill. Off to school he goes. The day passes by without a call, email...nothing, a worried mother can and will take this 1 of 2 ways either he is doing wonderful and life is grand, or the teacher is busy and has not had a chance to call yet...Which will it be? Hunner did AMAZING. He returned home and was able to tell us all about his day, from what he ate for breakfast, lunch and even who he played with at recess. Succession was ours again at last..
 
   We are still taking life day by day and we know that this is not the only hurtle we will have to cross, or mountain we will have to climb. We just know that we are blessed beyond recognition and are ready to embrace whatever life decides to dish out.

   From our family to yours. God bless :)



   

Background, pre-diagnosis

     Parents know best? Right? We know when something is going on with our child? True? We can sense when something isnt right? Of course? Battles go on in our heads daily, even before our children enter the world.

 Back to the beginning

     When I found out I was pregnant with Hunner i was 12weeks. I did not have period because I had been on the Depo shot since March 2005 when my daughter was born, So i was in complete shock when they insisted I peed on a stick when I went to receive my regular 3m shot, and floored when they told me it was positive and they could not give me my shot. I was part of the .01% of people whom the shot failed. I remember being happy, sad, and scared all at the same time. They immediately got in with a obgyn not knowing what was going on, how far along I was, or even if my baby was ok. Thank the good lord everything was ok. I was 12w and 2d  they baby was so very active and had such a good strong heartbeat, all of the sadness began to diminish and I was overwhelmed with joy.  

    About 4w after I found out I was pregnant it was my birthday, and i had been craving some wonderful, at the time, egg drop soup, so my loving mother went with me to dinner, everything was so yummy and we had a wonderful time UNTIL 12am that night. I woke up sick, sicker than I had ever been in my entire life. So sick I passed out in the bathroom and woke up in an ER room with needles in my arm, and straps on my belly. I was scared. SCARED. Clueless on what had happened, clueless on what was going on, I knew my baby was ok. I could hear its little heart beating away. Shortly after I was informed I had contracted Food poisoning and e coli. Ecoli is scary for anyone, but more concerning when you are pregnant.  I was advised and given some very strong antibiotics and 13 bags of iv fluid due to sever dehydration and this continued through out the remainder of my pregnancy. I did not have a well day from that day forward. I was on a  twice weekly schedule from then until delivery. 

          We went to the doctor on February 4th, and the did an ultrasound and a stress test and they determined that Hunner was full term and weighing in at a whopping 10 pounds. and that we needed a c-section to do the weak state of my body(I lost over 65lbs) and prior c-section with my daughter. So we scheduled it for Feb.6, 2008. 

          We arrive at the hospital bright and early on 2/6 readily waiting to meet our bouncing baby boy, and I of course was sick as a dog, being medicated for nausea and group b strep. They wheel me into the OR and began prepping me for surgery. 45 minutes later  I hear the doctor say "Its a boy" and then immediate panic hit the room. Doctors running in. Why? What could be going on? Is something wrong with my baby? YES. They had it all wrong. EVERYTHING from my duedate, his weight and his health. 

      Hunner made his grand appearance at 2:01pm weighting 5lbs exactly a very tiny 18 inches long and his skin was so transparent. He was beautiful yet pitiful at the same time. He was unable to latch to me or a bottle. But we got him learning fast and he was doing wonderful. But to me he seemed different, not in a bad way, he was perfect to me but acted nothing like my daughter, I didnt put to much thought into it at first because as we are always told... "know two babies are alike" 

.....But as time went on I knew their was something unique about my little man, but little did I know that something would take me 5 long years to figure out. 

   

The Wreck

I truly believe one of the most scary phone calls a mother can receive is "Your Children have been in a car accident" And on August 25th (exactly 1 month ago today I got that call) No information was disclosed. Nothing to easy our worried minds, all I got was your daughter is pretty bruised up and Hunner is bleeding. I panic, run out the door to inform my husband and out to the crime scene we go, not knowing what we would find, or what could be wrong....


    Cadence(my daughter) and Hunner got up that Sunday morning all excited for their day at the river with their Godmother Krystyna. I would have never imagined that It would be cut short and end in the Blount Memorial Emergency room.

   As Steven and I pulled closer to the scene on the wreck my heart pounded heavier and the tears came faster. My stomach was literally in knots and panic was radiated from the car. I remember thinking "its taking forever to get here"  Then we arrived. Thank god It was know where near has bad as I had pictured it in my head. We managed to pull up at the exact time the cops and ambulance arrived, and I can still hear Hunner screaming to the top of his little lungs, scared...hurt...worried...TRAUMATIZED...
  The ambulance driver looked over both of my babies and gave us the OK to drive them (7-10mins) to the local Er. Hunner screaming the entire way their, "PLEASE DON'T WRECK"

Taken as soon as we arrived at the hospital

   As soon as we pull into the ER, Hunner instantly refused to talk. Not a word did he say, I knew this was a tick and It would take some time, patience and trust. But knowing my baby was traumatized was so very heartbreaking.
   Thank the good lord my daughter only sustained a horrible seat belt burn and she was quickly released from the ER and safely went home with my Mother. Now to Focus all of our attention On Hunner as the doctor explains all of the possible things that could be going on...

   Do to the impact Hunner sustained to his head we now had a decision to make. One that would not only effect Hunner today, but could possibly effect him many years to come. CAT-Scan or no CAT-scan,. The doctor explained that the immense amount of radiation could effect his learning later in life but bleeding on the  brain could end in death. After we pondered for a while and did our research we made the decision to proceed with the CAT-scan, and thank God again it was normal. 

 Today marks the 1 month mark of the wreck and while Hunner looks completely normal happy and healthy on the outside their is still so much going through our lil buddies mind. He talks about the wreck every single day and panics every time we have to get into a car, he is a complete and nervous wreck. Constanly looking around, out each and every window. Questioning the speed you are driving, making sure you are not going fast, driving to close to someone, and when pulling out that their is no-one else in sight. I know this is something he may never completely get over and I have finally come to terms with that. Im not sure what else more we can do to assure him that he is ok.  

  God was watching over my babies that Sunday morning. Hearts have been mended, wounds have healed. But that day will forever be in our minds. 

48 hours later...

4 days after

One Month later :)

First Day of Kindergarten

August 5th 2013. The true beginning of the rest of his lil life :)

      Well here in our great lil corner of the world school has started back. We prepared for weeks during the summer talking about what his new school was going to be like, how making new friends can be fun, and how many amazing things he is going to learn.  And with much anticipation he was shockingly excited. 

         Sunday night we had laid out his clothes, shoes and got his backpack ready and lunch packed, so we were ready to go. My husband and I even prepared for what could possibly be a traumatizing morning.  We had hoped for the best, but as always planned for the worse.  Bedtime was another huge success, done without a fight or fit. Tucked snugly in bed we had high hopes for the day to come.  

       Our day begins bright and early at 7am and much to my surprise Hunner bops straight out of bed, all smiles and ready to roll. What seemed to be the hardest task in pre-k had now, even for just one day, became super easy. He smiles from ear to ear and exclaimed. I get to go to SCHOOOOOOOOOL today!! Which made me happy and sad all at the same time. (every mommy dreads her babies first day of school).         

       He runs to the bathroom to brush his teeth, comb his hair and get ready for the big day, all without a fuss(another proud moment). Seeing as how we had already stocked his clothing drawer full of red shirts(his favorite) and comfy shorts I assumed the outfit of choice would be no problem. "BUT MY SHOES DONT MATCH" he screams, and i think oh no...its beginning,  BUT we are quick to remind him that his shoes do match...They match your backpack, and your glasses, tantrum avoid and a score for Mom and Dad. 

       Now its time to leave, would all the hard work over the summer pay off?  We load into the car and drive the longest 5min drive of my life, to arrive safely at the school. He has no hesitation at unbuckling and quickly taking my hand....To the front door we go, by this point my heart is about to beat out of my chest. We walk into the gym and much to our surprise Hunner's bests friend from pre-k is in his group, a true breath of fresh air. Hunner runs straight up all ready to tell T about his summer, and I knew from that moment on our first day of school would be a huge success. 

Stylin (: 

Ready to Roll 

Adapting to change.

Never forget 

    As the school year comes to a close, we become faced with many new challenges, and breaks in routine. For your normal everyday person this is nothing except a chance to do new things, for Hunner it's a whole new ball game.

Headstart Graduate 

     Like many children who are autistic or who have aspergers syndrome change is not something they take lightly too, and the beginning of summer vacation has more than proved itself through Hunner. His daily fits have returned with strong anger occupying them. He seems to get heartbroken or upset over the smallest things, and dealing with them now seems harder than ever. You would think getting to stay up late and sleep in would be a wonderful thing, well that is far from the case...While our mornings are no longer rushed or chaotic they seem more stressful than ever. And dont even get me started on our new night time routine...

Brother and Sister 

Our little family 

   I am hoping as the weeks pass on this new way of living will become the norm to him and we can have a wonderful summer vacation. But still the thought lingers in the back of my mind, how will this "new" and "exciting" change effect the up and coming school year... Kindergarten here we come. Oh and  on a more exciting note we have officially learned our ABC's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsH8NN6r_Xk

I am Hunner AND i am not my disability

    You have to prepare your children for the world, whether you have a "normal" child or a child with special needs. Because the world is not going to change for your child, as nice as that would be. (personal quote)

    I had to come to terms with this because of my very special son Hunner who is 5, he has aspergers, SPD, and an immune deficiency, Our day to day life is hard, we struggle, but I would not have it any other way. I have never treated my child different, or let his disability be known to him, in his mind he is just like every other child on the planet, and i intend to keep it that way. Yes we have to do things a little differently and yes to some passing stranger at the store we get stares, smirks and bad words BUT we dont let it get us down, if we did we would never leave the house. We have to pick and choose our battles with Hunner, but we do not let him get by with things because of his disabilities. At the end of the day we as parents do what we feel is best for our children, whatever that may be. But we cannot always expect the world to do the same.